榛�(di菐n)鎿婂厤璨�(f猫i)瑷傞柋锛歔QQ鑰冭│閫歖 澶ц€冨皬鑰冧竴缍�(w菐ng)鎵撶洝锛�

绗簩绡�

A Dictionary For These Times

Dear Mr. Martian,

(1) I understand you may be somewhat confused by the confusing, science-fictive ways you encounter here on our alien planet. I鈥檓 hoping this may help your find you way around them.

(2) Affirmation means ______. (Thus, for example, Magic Johnson approaches his life-threatening disease with optimism and good nature. This means he is 鈥渋n denial.鈥� An optimist is only a pessimist who hasn鈥檛 yet come out. Yes, in short, means no. This is different however, from the fact that no means yes. That is what men say when women don鈥檛 say yes to them.)

(3) Challenge means ______. (A 鈥淧hysically challenged鈥� person is one who used to be called 鈥渄isabled鈥� or 鈥渉andicapped鈥� — to wit, one who has been dealt a bad blow by circumstance. To give him this more friendly sounding title is an attempt to affirm possibility on his behalf — in other words, to be in denial.)

(4) Cool means hot. (This, of course, you鈥檝e known for a while. Almost anything that people say is 鈥渃ool鈥� is sure to be 鈥渉ot.鈥� If something鈥檚 鈥渂ad,鈥� that means it鈥檚 鈥済ood.鈥� If it鈥檚 鈥渋n,鈥� though, that means it鈥檚 on the way out. After all, 鈥済ive in鈥� and 鈥済ive out鈥� mean the same thing.)

(5) Diversity means ______. (If someone wants a 鈥渄iverse鈥� student body, say, that means he wants one in which everyone is more or less like him. This is only logical, because 鈥渕inorities鈥� tend to be in the majority now. Thus 鈥渆qual opportunity鈥� usually means 鈥渦nequal,鈥� since some are more equal — or is it unequal? — than others.

(6) East means west. (The 鈥淔ar East鈥� is — naturally — to the west of the 鈥淔ar West,鈥� and the East Coast is one of the westernmost parts of the Western world. Don鈥檛 worry, though: according to a U.S. President, yes means no in the East anyway, while in the more logical West, 鈥渁 fat chance鈥� means a very thin one.)

(7) Father means son. (Thus, for example, Bill Wyman鈥檚 son is marrying the mother of Bill Wyman鈥檚 wife. Bill Wyman will soon be his son鈥檚 son-in-law, as well as father of his father-in-law. It鈥檚 easy to tell a girl from a boy, however. Boys are the ones with earrings? and long hair; girls are the ones with trousers and short hair. 鈥淢other,鈥� of course, is the worst name you can call someone. That is because mothers are not, in many contexts, objects of worship.)

(8) Friends means ______. (If someone says, 鈥淐an鈥檛 we just be friends?,鈥� that usually means you鈥檝e got a po-tential enemy for life. But don鈥檛 lose hope: in many parts of the world, your enemy鈥檚 enemy is your friend. That is a result of the law whereby two rights make a wrong.)

(9) Inner city means outer space. (The people who live in the 鈥渋nner city鈥� are nearly always outsiders, and 鈥渋nsiders鈥� live as far as possible from the heart of things. Likewise, the 鈥渋nner child,鈥� for most adults, is even more far out.)

(10) Interests mean ______. (As in the 鈥渋nterests鈥� people list in 鈥減ersonal ads鈥� —鈥淪choenberg, late Heideg-ger and Hustler鈥� — or in the bodies known as 鈥渋nterest groups.鈥� Of Course, you will already have found that 鈥減ersonal鈥� in any case means 鈥渋mpersonal鈥�; thus a 鈥減ersonal ad鈥� is, in fact, a highly impersonal solicitation? for companionship.)

(11) Left means right. (In places like the former Soviet Union, the 鈥渞ightists鈥� are the conservatives, who are most attached to communism — in other words, the people furthest on the left.

(12) New means old. (Thus a 鈥渘ew idea鈥� — in Hollywood, for example — means an old idea that is not under copyright. Something that happened yesterday, though, is 鈥渙ld news.鈥�)

(13) Pleasure means ______. (The giving of pleasure is one of the most lucrative businesses around, and not only in the red-light district. Thus people who 鈥減lay games鈥� for a living sign contracts for $43 million — much more than people who merely work. Those who can sing may get up to $100 million.)

(14) Ruler means ______. (Anyone who is a member of a royal family is, by law, subject to the nation. Thus the princesses of Britain, say, are employees of the people, used as tourist attractions and given free board and lodging in return for affording the rest of us some entertainment. You may remember how the old kings — like Henry V — used to spy on their subjects; now it鈥檚 the subjects who spy on their rulers. Dieu et mon droit.)

(15) Small means mid-size. (If you are renting a car, you need to remember that 鈥渟mall鈥� is several sizes larger than the smallest size. And in McDonald鈥檚, 鈥渁 small鈥� order of fries is now a regular-size order, which is differ-ent from the situation in most places, where the 鈥渞egular鈥� size is very small.)

(16) War means peace. (Thus the 鈥渃old war鈥� was a way of maintaining a delicate peace between two militant superpowers. The 鈥渨ar against drugs鈥� means saying 鈥淛ust say no鈥� several times and hoping that people under the influence won鈥檛 take a no for a yes.)

(17) Oh, and one more thing. Alien means resident. (As in 鈥淚 live here because I鈥檓 a 鈥榬esident alien.鈥� 鈥淵ou鈥檒l see lots of 鈥渁liens鈥� in the U.S. — they are the people who come from other countries, as opposed to 鈥渞eal Americans,鈥� who are people who came from other countries a little while ago.)

(18) I hope that all makes sense. I鈥檓 sure you will find our world as clear as anything on your planet.

銆愬弮鑰冭鏂囥€�

鏂版檪(sh铆)浠ｅ瓧鍏�

瑕剾鐨勭伀鏄熶汉锛�

(1)鎴戜簡瑙ｆ偍鍦ㄦ垜鍊戦€欏€�(g猫)澶栨槦浜烘槦鐞冧笂纰板埌鐨勮ū澶氶涓夊€掑洓銆佺骞诲皬瑾�(shu艒)寮忕殑鎯呭舰锛屽彲鑳借畵鎮ㄦ湁榛�(di菐n)鍥版儜銆傚笇鏈涗互涓嬬殑瑾�(shu艒)鏄庤兘骞偍鍏嬫湇閫欎簺闅滅銆�

(2)鑲畾灏辨槸鍚﹁獚(r猫n)銆傦紙璀榄旇(sh霉)甯磩缈伴仠鐢ㄦ▊瑙€銆侀毃鍜岀殑鎱�(t脿i)搴︿締(l谩i)灏�(du矛)寰呬粬鎮ｇ殑鑷村懡鐨勭柧鐥�銆傞€欒〃绀轰粬鍦ㄢ€滃惁瑾�(r猫n)鈥�銆傛▊瑙€鑰呭彧鏄倓涓嶈偗鎵胯獚(r猫n)鐨勬偛瑙€鑰�銆傜啊(ji菐n)鍠瑳锛岃(shu艒)鈥滄槸鈥濈殑鎰忔€濆氨鏄€滀笉鈥�銆備笉閬庨€欏拰鍙︿竴绋媭娉佷笉鍚岋細瑾�(shu艒)鈥滀笉鈥濇剰鎬濆氨鏄€滄槸鈥濄€傞偅鏄敺浜鸿(shu艒)鐨勶細鈥滃湪濂充汉涓嶈偗灏�(du矛)浠栬(shu艒)鈥滄槸鈥濈殑鏅�(sh铆)鍊�銆傦級

(3) 鎸戞埌(zh脿n)灏辨槸鍠け銆傦紙涓€鍊�(g猫)鈥滆韩楂斿彈鎸戞埌(zh脿n)鈥濈殑浜哄氨鏄緸鍓嶅彨鍋氣€滃け鑳解€濇垨鈥滄畼闅溾€濈殑浜�——渚嬪鏇鹃伃鍒板懡閬�(y霉n)鍤�(y谩n)閲嶆墦鎿婄殑浜恒€傜敤鐝�(xi脿n)鍦ㄩ€欏€�(g猫)鑱借捣渚�(l谩i)姣旇純鍙嬪杽鐨勫悕绋变締(l谩i)绋卞懠浠�锛屾槸鐐轰簡鑲畾浠栫殑鍙兘鎬�——涔熷氨鏄惁瑾�(r猫n)鐨勬剰鎬�銆傦級

(4) 鍐峰氨鏄啽銆傦紙閫欎竴榛�(di菐n)鐣�(d膩ng)鐒舵偍鏃╁氨鐭ラ亾浜�銆傚彧瑕佹槸鍒ヤ汉瑾�(shu艒)鈥滈叿鈥濈殑鏉辫タ骞句箮涓€瀹氬緢鐔遍杸銆傚鏋滆(shu艒)閫欏€�(g猫)鏉辫タ寰堚€滃鈥�锛岄偅灏辨槸瑾�(shu艒)瀹冨緢鈥滄鈥濈殑鎰忔€�?锛熷渚ㄧ换顜俧(shu艒)涓€鍊�(g猫)鏉辫タ鏄€渋n鈥漑娴佽]锛岄偅灏辨槸瑾�(shu艒)瀹冨揩瑕乷ut [鍑哄眬]浜�銆傜暍绔焔ive in 鍜実ive out 鐨勬剰鎬濇槸涓€妯ｇ殑銆傦級

(5) 澶氭ǎ鎬у氨鏄柈涓€鎬с€傦紙濡傛灉鏈変汉瑾�(shu艒)浠栧€戝笇鏈涙姮鏀堕€�(j矛n)渚�(l谩i)鐨勫(xu茅)鐢熸湁鈥滃妯ｆ€р€�锛屾剰鎬濇槸瑾�(shu艒)浠栬鐨勫(xu茅)鐢熸瘡涓€鍊�(g猫)閮藉拰浠栬嚜宸辨槸宸笉澶氱殑浜�銆傞€欎篃寰堝悎鐞�锛屽洜?y脿n)妞ゅ惂璐�?sh霉)鈥濇皯鏃忕従(xi脿n)鍦ㄦ湁鍗犫€滃鏁�(sh霉)鈥濈殑鍌惧悜銆傛墍浠モ€滃钩绛夋(j墨)鏈�(hu矛)鈥濋€氬父琛ㄧず鈥滀笉骞崇瓑鈥濈殑鎰忔€�锛屽洜?y脿n)姗涜叆鍚憥e浜烘洿骞崇瓑——鎴栬€呰┎瑾�(shu艒)鏇翠笉骞崇瓑锛�

(6) 鏉辨柟灏辨槸瑗挎柟銆傦紙鎵€璎傗€滈仩(yu菐n)鏉扁€濈暥(d膩ng)鐒跺氨鏄湪鈥滈仩(yu菐n)瑗库€濈殑鏇磋タ鏂�銆傜編鍦�(gu贸)鏉辨捣宀镐篃鏄タ鏂逛笘鐣屾渶鈥滆タ鈥濆寲鐨勫湴鏂广€備笉閬庢偍涔熶笉鐢ㄦ摂(d膩n)蹇�锛屾湁涓€浣嶇編鍦�(gu贸)绺界当(t菕ng)灏辫(shu艒)閬�锛屽弽姝ｅ湪鏉辨柟鈥滄槸鈥濆氨琛ㄧず鈥滀笉鈥濄€傝€屽湪姣旇純鍚堜箮閭忚集鐨勮タ鏂�锛屸€滄(j墨)鏈�(hu矛)澶у緱寰堚€濇剰鎬濇槸鎴愬姛鐨勬(j墨)鏈�(hu矛)澶皬浜�銆傦級

(7)鐖跺氨鏄瓙銆傦紙渚嬪锛屾瘮鐖炬嚪鏇肩殑鍏掑瓙瑕佸拰姣旂埦鎳锋浖鐨勪笀姣嶅绲�(ji茅)濠氫簡銆傛瘮鐖炬嚪鏇奸Μ涓婂氨鏄粬鍏掑瓙鐨勫コ濠夸簡锛屼粬鐨勮€佷笀浜哄墖瑕佸彨浠栫埜鐖�銆傞€欐槸鏈夐粸(di菐n)浜�锛屼笉閬庣敺浜哄コ浜哄€掑緢瀹规槗鍒嗐€傛埓鑰崇挵(hu谩n)鐣欓暦(zh菐ng)鐧�(f膩)鐨勫氨鏄敺浜�锛岀┛闀�(zh菐ng)瑜茬暀鐭櫦(f膩)鐨勫氨鏄コ浜�?锛佺毃瀵㈠皡纰�?d膩ng)鐒舵槸缃典汉鏈€闆ｈ伣鐨勮嚐瑭�銆傞€欐槸鍥�?y脿n)闁跺灞ц盃S澶氱媭娉佷笅閮芥槸宕囨嫓鐨勫皪(du矛)璞°€傦級

(8) 鏈嬪弸灏辨槸鏁典汉銆傦紙濡傛灉鏈変汉瑾�(shu艒)锛氣€滄垜鍊戜笉鑳藉彧鍋氭湅鍙嬪棊锛熲€濋偅閫氬父琛ㄧず浣犵祼(ji茅)涓嬩簡涓€鍊�(g猫)涓€杓╁瓙鐨勬暤浜�銆傚彲鏄篃鍒ョ伆蹇冿細涓栫晫涓婃湁瑷卞鍦版柟锛屾暤浜虹殑鏁典汉灏辨槸鏈嬪弸銆傞€欐槸鏍规摎(j霉)鈥滄姝ｅ緱璨�(f霉)鈥濆畾寰嬪皫(d菐o)鍑轰締(l谩i)鐨勭祼(ji茅)鏋�銆傦級

(9) 閮藉競鍏�(n猫i)閮ㄥ氨鏄澶┖銆傦紙浣忓湪鈥滈兘甯傚収(n猫i)閮ㄢ€濈殑浜哄咕涔庨兘鏄湀澶栦汉锛岃€屸€滃湀鍏�(n猫i)浜衡€濆墖鐩￠噺閬块枊鍟忛鐨勬牳蹇�銆傚悓妯ｇ殑锛屽ぇ閮ㄥ垎鎴愬勾浜衡€滃収(n猫i)蹇冪殑灏忓鈥濇洿鏄秴涔庢兂璞′箣澶栥€傦級

(10)鑸堣叮灏辨槸鐒�(w煤)鑱�銆傦紙濂芥瘮鎮ㄧ湅鍒扳€滃€�(g猫)浜哄唬鍛娾€濅笂閭ｄ簺浜哄垪鍑轰締(l谩i)鐨勨€滆垐瓒ｂ€�——鈥滃嫑浼牸銆佸悗鏈熸捣寰锋牸鐖惧拰銆婂搱楱峰銆嬧€�——鎴栬€呮槸鎵€璎� 鈥滃埄鐩婂湗(tu谩n)楂斺€濅腑鐨勨€滆垐瓒ｂ€濄€傜暥(d膩ng)鐒�锛屾偍涓€瀹氬凡缍�(j墨ng)浜嗚В鎵€璎傗€滃€�(g猫)浜衡€濆弽姝ｆ寚鐨勬槸鈥滈潪鍊�(g猫)浜衡€�锛涙墍浠ユ墍璎傗€滃€�(g猫)浜哄唬鍛娾€濆叾瀵�(sh铆)鏄畬鍏ㄤ笉閲濆皪(du矛)鍊�(g猫)浜虹殑寰佸弸寤ｅ憡銆傦級

鈶� 宸﹀氨鏄彸銆傦紙鍦ㄥ墠铇囪伅(li谩n)涔嬮鐨勫湴鏂癸紝鎵€璎傗€滃彸娲锯€濇槸淇濆畧娲�锛屼篃灏辨槸鏈€鏈嶈喓鍏辩敘(ch菐n)涓荤京鐨勪汉——鎵€浠ュ氨鏄珛鍫�(ch菐ng)鏈€宸︾殑浜�銆傦級

鈶� 鏂板氨鏄垔銆傦紙鎵€浠ヤ竴鍊�(g猫)鏂伴粸(di菐n)瀛�——濂芥瘮鍦ㄥソ钀婂、——灏辨槸閭勬矑鏈夌敵璜�(q菒ng)鐗堟瑠(qu谩n)鐨勮垔榛�(di菐n)瀛�銆傝€屾槰澶╂墠鐧�(f膩)鐢熺殑浜嬫儏灏辩畻鈥滆垔鏂拌仦鈥濅簡銆傦級

鈷€ 浜▊灏辨槸浜嬫キ(y猫)銆傦紙鎻愪緵浜▊鏄渶璩洪將鐨勮妤�(y猫)涔嬩竴锛岄倓涓嶅彧绱呯噲鍗€(q奴)鏄姝�銆傛墍浠モ€滅帺娓告埐銆佹墦鐞冣€濊瑎鐢熺殑浜虹敖绱勪竴绨藉氨鏄�4300钀�(w脿n)——姣斿厜鏈�(hu矛)宸ヤ綔鐨勪汉澶氬浜嗐€傛渻(hu矛)鍞辨瓕鐨勬洿鍙互鎷垮埌1鍎勭殑鍚堢磩銆傦級

鈷� 绲�(t菕ng)娌昏€呭氨鏄瓙姘戙€傦紙鍑″爆浜庣殗瀹ょ殑浜哄＋鎸夋硶寰嬭(gu墨)瀹氬氨鏄湅(gu贸)瀹剁殑鑷ｆ皯锛屾墍浠ュソ姣旇嫳鍦�(gu贸)鐨勭帇濡冨€戝氨鏄汉姘戣仒璜�(q菒ng)鐨勫摗宸�锛岀敤渚�(l谩i)鍚稿紩瑙€鍏夊锛岀鍚冪浣�锛屼互鏇夸汉鍊戞彁渚涘妯傘€傛偍鍙兘閭勮寰楀緸鍓嶇殑鍦�(gu贸)鐜�——鍍忎酣鍒╀簲涓�——鏈�(hu矛)鍋峰伔鍒烘帰浠栫殑鑷ｆ皯锛岀従(xi脿n)鍦ㄥ墖鏄嚕姘戝埡鎺㈢当(t菕ng)娌昏€呯殑闅辩銆傚ぉ涓�銆佸惥鐨囪惉(w脿n)姝�?銆�?

鈷� 灏忚櫉(h脿o)灏辨槸涓櫉(h脿o)銆傦紙濡傛灉鎮ㄥ幓绉熻粖锛岃瑷樺緱鈥滃皬鍨嬧€濇瘮璧锋渶灏忕殑姹借粖瑕佸ぇ涓婂ソ骞捐櫉(h脿o)銆傝€屼笖鍦ㄩ亥鐣�(d膩ng)鍕烇紝涓€瀹㈠皬钖�?xi脿ng)l鐝�(xi脿n)鍦ㄦ槸涓殑浜�銆傞€欏拰澶ч儴鍒嗙殑鎯呭舰鐩稿弽銆備竴鑸偍瑕佺殑涓櫉(h脿o)閮藉皬寰楀緢銆�

鈷� 鎴�(zh脿n)鐖�(zh膿ng)灏辨槸鍜屽钩銆傦紙鎵€浠モ€滃喎鎴�(zh脿n)鈥濆緸鍓嶆槸鍏╁€�(g猫)浜ゆ埌(zh脿n)鐨勮秴绱�(j铆)澶у湅(gu贸)涔嬮枔缍寔鑴嗗急鍜屽钩鐨勮睛娉�?锛佺毄?du矛)姣掑搧瀹ｆ埌(zh脿n)鈥濈殑鎰忔€濆氨鏄妸鈥滃彧瑕佽(shu艒)涓嶁€濆康涓婂咕閬�锛岀劧鍚庡笇鏈涢偅浜涘惛姣掑惛鍒颁笉鍒嗘澅鍗楄タ鍖楃殑浜轰笉鏈�(hu矛)鎶娾€滀笉鈥濊鐣�(d膩ng)鐐衡€滄槸鈥�銆傦級

鈷� 灏�(du矛)浜�锛岄倓鏈変竴榛�(di菐n)銆傚渚�(l谩i)浜哄彛灏辨槸灞呮皯銆傦紙濂芥瘮瑾�(shu艒)鈥滄垜浣忓湪閫�锛屽洜?y脿n)妲叉矀鎭邦啰鑺伩榄�?qu谩n)鐨勫渚�(l谩i)浜哄彛鈥欌€濄€傚湪缇庡湅(gu贸)鎮ㄥ彲浠ョ湅鍒板緢澶氣€滃渚�(l谩i)浜哄彛鈥�锛屽氨鏄緸澶栧湅(gu贸)渚�(l谩i)鐨勪汉锛岄€欏拰鈥滅湡姝ｇ殑缇庡湅(gu贸)浜衡€濅笉涓€妯�——鐪熸鐨勭編鍦�(gu贸)浜烘槸涓嶄箙鍓嶅緸澶栧湅(gu贸)渚�(l谩i)鐨�銆傦級

鈷� 甯屾湜鎮ㄩ兘寮勬竻妤� 浜�銆傛垜鐩镐俊鎮ㄦ渻(hu矛)瑕哄緱鎴戝€戠殑涓栫晫鍜屾偍鐨勬槦鐞冧竴妯ｇ殑娓呮鏄庣櫧銆�

[璨�(z茅)浠荤法杓�:oasisli]